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At the top of the website for New York hotel The Mark – of Meghan Markle babyshower-venue fame – is a rolling tickertape of praise from various esteemed publications. But there’s no mention of the ensuite showers.

There should be.

Mine is a world-beater, a torrent-issuing marvel that’s the most powerful I’ve ever stood under, with superbly chunky industrial-chic polished-nickel fittings by renowned British firm Lefroy Brooks.

The Mark is housed in a 1927 building at the corner of Madison Avenue and 77th Street - and anybody who's anybody has stayed there

The Mark is housed in a 1927 building at the corner of Madison Avenue and 77th Street – and anybody who’s anybody has stayed there

Meghan Markle is pictured leaving The Mark Hotel following her baby shower there on February 20, 2019

Meghan Markle is pictured leaving The Mark Hotel following her baby shower there on February 20, 2019

Meghan Markle's babyshower took place in the ultra-swanky penthouse at The Mark, which costs $75,000 a night

Meghan Markle’s babyshower took place in the ultra-swanky penthouse at The Mark, which costs $75,000 a night

The Mark Penthouse is thought to be the most expensive per-night hotel room in the U.S

Spectacular views of New York come as standard at The Mark Penthouse

The Mark Penthouse is thought to be the most expensive per-night hotel room in the U.S. Spectacular views of New York come as standard

My room, a ‘Seventy Seven King Guestroom’, is 18 tiers beneath the Upper East Side hotel’s top-ranking accommodation, The Mark Penthouse, where Meghan and her famous chums hung out in 2019. This is thought to be the most expensive per-night hotel room in the U.S, with a daily tariff of $75,000 (£56,000).

And while the starting price for mine – one of 106 – for a night is vastly more affordable at around $1,025 (£750) a night if you book well in advance, it’s still not cheap.

But you are definitely getting what you pay for – and that’s sheer class.

Legendary French designer Jacques Grange is the creative force behind the interiors at The Mark and in the rest of the bathroom he’s given me a vast bathtub and double washbasins smothered in marble and a striking geometric black-and-white floor.

The main bedroom is the last word in understated elegance, a soothing medley of ebony, sycamore and Italian linens.

Ted stays in a Seventy Seven King Guestroom, pictured - 'the last word in understated elegance'

Ted stays in a Seventy Seven King Guestroom, pictured – ‘the last word in understated elegance’

Striking geometric black-and-white floors are a trademark of the decor at The Mark

Striking geometric black-and-white floors are a trademark of the decor at The Mark

Ted describes his ensuite shower, pictured, as 'a world-beater, a torrent-issuing marvel'

Ted describes his ensuite shower, pictured, as ‘a world-beater, a torrent-issuing marvel’

The bed is next-level comfy and the cupboard that opens out into a mini bar is an exquisite touch.

The aesthetics in the lobby, meanwhile, soar to bold new Instagram-baiting, celebrity-luring levels.

Other famous faces seen at The Mark – sometimes when in its guise as an A-lister hang-out for the nearby Met Gala – include Kim Kardashian West, Selena Gomez, Kendall Jenner, Kerry Washington, Emma Watson, Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen, Oprah Winfrey, Pharrell Williams, Diddy, Kendall Jenner and Jennifer Lopez.

They wouldn’t turn up if they didn’t have an arresting background to be papped against. 

The aesthetics in the lobby soar to bold new Instagram-baiting, celebrity-luring levels

The aesthetics in the lobby soar to bold new Instagram-baiting, celebrity-luring levels

Selena Gomez leaving The Mark for the 2017 'Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between' Met Gala on May 1, 2017

Kendall Jenner leaves The Mark for the Met Gala on May 7, 2018

Pictured left is Selena Gomez leaving The Mark for the 2017 ‘Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between’ Met Gala on May 1, 2017. Pictured right is Kendall Jenner leaving The Mark for the Met Gala on May 7, 2018

leaves from The Mark Hotel for the 2016 "Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology" Met Gala on May 2, 2016 in New York City.

Amanda Seyfried at The Mark before attending the 2018 Met Gala

On the left is Emma Watson leaving The Mark on May 2, 2016, for the Met Gala, and pictured right is Amanda Seyfried at The Mark before attending the 2018 Met Gala

The vivid geometric black-and-white floor is back, but here, spread over such a large area, it’s even more eye-catching.

There is also a sumptuous red sofa with matching armchairs beneath a mesmerising red-hued minimalist painting and various expensive-looking objects d’art.

It feels like a homely art gallery.

And I’m able to study it at greater length while waiting for my table at the renowned ‘The Mark Restaurant by Jean-Georges’.

British singer-songwriter Rita Ora leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2018

British singer-songwriter Rita Ora leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2018

Claire Danes leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2018

British action hero Jason Statham with his actress and model partner Rosie Huntington-Whiteley stepping away from The Mark's lavish lobby in 2016

On the left is Claire Danes leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2018, while on the right is British action hero Jason Statham with his actress and model partner Rosie Huntington-Whiteley stepping away from The Mark’s lavish lobby in 2016

Kim Kardashian leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2018

Anna Wintour leaves The Mark in 2016 for the Met Gala

Kim Kardashian leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2018, left, while on the right is Anna Wintour leaving The Mark for the Met Gala in 2016

A bouncer-type is vetting everyone who approaches the doors from the lobby into the bar area – which leads to the restaurant.

I tell him I have a table for one booked at 8pm and he tells me rather ungracefully to stand ‘over there’ (by the sumptuous armchairs) while he ‘tries to find me a spot’.

Bit odd. Usually it’s the restaurant staff who do the spot-finding in a restaurant. Regardless, I’m happy to go along with his demands as it’s a very nice lobby to linger in.

There are three well-dressed women next to me also trying to gain access and one of them is particularly irked about the perceived wait.

The Mark Restaurant by Jean-Georges, pictured, which Ted describes as seductively opulent. It's here that he tucks into an outrageous salted caramel sundae with popcorn

The Mark Restaurant by Jean-Georges, pictured, which Ted describes as seductively opulent. It’s here that he tucks into an outrageous salted caramel sundae with popcorn

The Mark bar is one of New York's more distinctive-looking drinking joints

The Mark bar is one of New York’s more distinctive-looking drinking joints

TRAVEL FACTS 

Ted was hosted by The Mark hotel, where rooms start from around $1,025 a night (£775). Visit www.themarkhotel.com. 

Rating:

Aer Lingus flies daily from Manchester to New York, JFK. Economy class fares start from £179 each way and business class fares start from £1,550 return, including taxes and charges. Visit aerlingus.com. 

Business-class throne seat verdict, including service, comfort and food (see review below): 

Rating:

Blacklane chauffeurs  

Ted used the superb Blacklane chauffeur service in New York to transport him between the airport and his hotel. It has a brilliantly user-friendly booking system and operates in more than 200 cities around the world. Visit www.blacklane.com/en.    

Avanti West Coast

One-way fares London to Manchester from £35.90 (£108.80 first class), return from £71.80 (first from £217.60). For more information click here. 

Tests 

For all your antigen and PCR testing requirements visit Qured. See the FCDO website for the latest USA travel guidance.  

She doesn’t seem to be appreciating the extra time she’s been granted to admire Jacques Grange’s eclectic style, then suddenly goes ‘New York’ on the bar/restaurant gatekeeper, telling him forcefully that she is fed up with other people ‘being let in ahead of her group’. And in such a loud voice that another security-guard type is minded to waft over and ask her – politely but firmly – to stop shouting.

‘You think this is shouting? I’ll give you shouting,’ she shouts.

I look around for some popcorn.

As it happens, there’s some on the dessert menu, which I find myself studying before the final act of the lobby drama is played out, having been ushered through to my table for one by a young lady who appears with a clipboard (and an apology for the confusion).

The popcorn comes as part of a salted caramel sundae, which also comprises peanuts and fudge sauce.

Sold (though the ‘plate of cookies’ is tempting).

I wend my way to this Augustus-Gloop-a-licious feast via a refreshing ‘Mark Cocktail’ of prosecco, lychee and raspberry; a pasta and truffle starter and a rip-roaring cheeseburger, accompanied by a knock-out glass of Italian red, a 2016 Barolo by Fontanafredda, chosen by an enthusiastic sommelier who clearly knows his way around the wine list.

This restaurant is one of the hottest tickets in town – but why?

I enjoy the food, but it’s well-executed crowd-pleasing fodder, not Michelin-star Jean-Georges. For that you need to go to the two-star Jean-Georges restaurant in New York that is simply called ‘Jeans-Georges’. 

It is a bit confusing. Jean-Georges Vongerichten, born in Alsace, France, puts his name to 38 restaurants – 19 in New York alone (I’m half-expecting the tap water in the city next time I visit to be ‘by Jean-Georges’). 

The Mark’s Jean-Georges eatery, I suspect, draws the crowds because it matches those appealing, moreish dishes with seductively moody opulence – in the evening it’s just so deliciously dimly lit and luxurious and cosy, and there’s a deluxe bar.

All in all, perfect for a date.

And perfect for a bubbly chinwag with chums.

Everyone around me seems to be having a wonderful time, conversations are flowing, and the waiting staff don’t put a foot wrong.

In the morning, I’m back for the Jean-Georges Vongerichten breakfast experience, which takes place in a beautifully airy part of the restaurant beneath a vaulted glass-panelled roof and next to a copper and glass wine wall.

I snag a banquette seat and linger over coffee, orange juice and scrambled eggs, sausage and a mound of salad leaves (‘seasonal greens’).

A look at The Mark entrance, free of exiting A-listers. The location of the hotel is, Ted says, 'beyond reproach'

A look at The Mark entrance, free of exiting A-listers. The location of the hotel is, Ted says, ‘beyond reproach’

Ted's Jean-Georges Vongerichten breakfast

Ted’s Jean-Georges Vongerichten breakfast

I can’t quite cope with the mound of salad leaves (it’s not a breakfast item in my book), but the rest is great, the table smartly laid out and the service purrs.

Time to explore the neighbourhood.

The Mark’s location is beyond reproach. It’s housed in a beautiful 1927 building at the corner of Madison Avenue and 77th Street, a short walk from The Met, The Guggenheim and The Frick Collection.

Central Park is a few steps away too, and it’s here that I attempt to walk off the breakfast (and the dessert and burger, to level with you).

To be honest, I check out still feeling full. But hungry to return to one of the Big Apple’s most impeccably lavish hotels.

Rating:

Lux of the Irish: Revelling in the majesty of the £1.5k business-class ‘throne’ seat on an Aer Lingus single-aisle A321neo as it makes its debut on the carrier’s new Manchester to New York route

 By Ted Thornhill

Ted is pictured here in one of the 'throne seats' on an Aer Lingus flight from Manchester to JFK Airport

Ted is pictured here in one of the ‘throne seats’ on an Aer Lingus flight from Manchester to JFK Airport 

A private jet from the UK to New York is a financially unobtainable luxury for most. But there is a much more affordable alternative – business class on an Aer Lingus single-aisle Airbus A321neo.

The aircraft recently made its debut on the Irish flag carrier’s new route between Manchester and New York and I was lucky enough to bag a seat on it in business class, discovering that it has a definite private jet vibe – as long as you don’t look behind the curtain into economy.

Snare, as I did, one of the coveted single ‘throne’ berths – they alternate with rows of paired seats – and the experience is elevated to feeling like royalty.

I didn’t feel so princely earlier in the day, though, when my pre-booked ‘executive’ Uber to London Euston (for a train to Manchester) from my flat in the south of the capital arrived at 4.45am for a 5am pick-up, then drove off at 5.01am as I descended the stairs to head out of the door, forcing me to catch a night bus (see boxout for more on this Uber drama).

Still, I arrived at Euston with enough time for a selfie by the concourse Christmas tree before catching the rapid 6.16am Avanti West Coast Pendolino to Manchester Piccadilly.

Fast forward to 9am and I was on an almost-empty train from Piccadilly to Manchester Airport. Fifteen minutes later, I was striding through the hub on the hunt for Terminal 2, where the transatlantic Aer Lingus flights depart.

I found the Aer Lingus check-in desks at the shinier end of the terminal, by rows of self-service screens.

The seats in the single-aisle Aer Lingus A321 business-class cabin are arranged in a 4-2-4 formation

The seats in the single-aisle Aer Lingus A321 business-class cabin are arranged in a 4-2-4 formation

Ted's Aer Lingus A321neo at Manchester Airport

Ted’s Aer Lingus A321neo at Manchester Airport

Here mild panic ensued when the chirpy check-in official asked me for my PCR test certificate. I’d taken an (accepted) antigen test.

He then admitted that he thought they were the same thing.

(I suggest some training on this matter.)

After enduring a tortuous hour-long queue at security (though staff thoughtfully fast-tracked passengers with imminent flights), I made my way to the new 1903 Lounge, which my business-class ticket granted me access to.

It impressed. It’s spacious with plenty of comfy seating, there’s a nicely presented buffet of hot and cold food – including cooked breakfast items and 1833 vintage reserve cheddar from Somerset-based Barber’s, the world’s oldest cheddar-makers – and various alcoholic libations are proffered via eye-catching circular self-service counters. 

The new 1903 Lounge at Manchester Airport, pictured, has floor-to-ceiling windows that afford glorious views of the Terminal 2 taxiway

The new 1903 Lounge at Manchester Airport, pictured, has floor-to-ceiling windows that afford glorious views of the Terminal 2 taxiway

The 1903 Lounge is named after the most important year in aviation history, when the Wright brothers cracked powered flight

The 1903 Lounge is named after the most important year in aviation history, when the Wright brothers cracked powered flight

The lounge is named in honour of the first-ever sustained powered flight on December 17, 1903, achieved by pioneering brothers Orville and Wilbur Wright.

Aviation technology has moved on a wee bit since then, as can be seen through the lounge’s floor-to-ceiling windows, which afford glorious views of the Terminal 2 taxiway and, to the far left, the runway.

I ensconced myself in one of the chic chairs arranged to face them and watched hi-tech A350s, A380s and Dreamliners trundling around – but my Aer Lingus A321neo remained tantalisingly hidden from view at an out-of-sight gate.

ON BOARD 

A plate of sausage, scrambled egg and beans later and I was gazing upon my ride to JFK – a brand-new state-of-the-art long-range Airbus A321neo, which has a 15 per cent reduction in fuel burn compared to a regular A321 and 16 fully lie-flat business-class seats.

I settled into my soothingly green aisle-access throne seat, narrowed my eyes and scanned for niggles.

Barely a blip.

There’s no in-vogue privacy screen, but no matter – the ergonomically designed seat wraps around and cocoons you very nicely indeed. I immediately felt snug and ready for a transatlantic trip to see how New York has been holding up.

Ted declares that his 'ergonomically designed seat [above] wraps around and cocoons you very nicely indeed'

Ted declares that his ‘ergonomically designed seat [above] wraps around and cocoons you very nicely indeed’

The seat's plug points and USB slot

The seat’s plug points and USB slot

It’s not the widest seat on the market but the dimensions were just fine for my 5ft 10in frame – and the legroom was ample. For even the loftiest of travellers.

There are bountiful options, meanwhile, for bespoke adjustments.  

A panel to my left by my elbow that needed a slight twist to access from the upright position had one-touch buttons for three modes – ‘upright’, ‘relax’ and ‘sleep’ – as well as lumber control, pressable up and down arrows for leg-rest manoeuvering, a massage button and an option for turning a mood light on and off.

For minimal hassle while reclined, the seat position can be altered using a separate panel further along the pod wall.

Being uncomfortable was never going to be on the agenda.

A picture taken as Ted's flight passes over Long Island on the descent into JFK Airport

A picture taken as Ted’s flight passes over Long Island on the descent into JFK Airport

Ted's starter for lunch - 'flavoursome prawns, Marie Rose sauce and sun-dried tomato'

The main - 'succulent roast Parmesan chicken breast with steamed spinach, carrots, baby potatoes and wild mushroom sauce'

LEFT: Ted’s starter for lunch – ‘flavoursome prawns, Marie Rose sauce and sun-dried tomato’. RIGHT: The main – ‘succulent roast Parmesan chicken breast with steamed spinach, carrots, baby potatoes and wild mushroom sauce’

This panel is at elbow height when in the upright position

This panel is handy for when the seat is reclined

These images show the control panels for adjusting the seat, with the panel on the left at elbow height when in the upright position and the panel on the right handy for when the seat is reclined 

It's not the widest seat on the market, says Ted, but the dimensions were fine for his 5ft 10in frame - and the legroom ample

It’s not the widest seat on the market, says Ted, but the dimensions were fine for his 5ft 10in frame – and the legroom ample

IS THE AER LINGUS BUSINESS CLASS CABIN A TWO-TIER OFFERING? 

There’s a definite difference between the solo ‘throne’ seats in the Aer Lingus business-class cabin and the paired seats, which have less storage and less privacy.

There is a big divider at head height, but whoever is sitting next to you will be able to see exactly which guilty pleasure movie you’re watching.

And, of course, whoever is by the window has no aisle access.

Having said that, they’re a better option for couples.

On my outward flight a pair of travellers who were split between a throne seat and an aisle seat asked a solo traveller by the window to swap so they could sit side by side.

Note – I didn’t sit in one of the paired seats so these remarks are based on (close) observation alone. 

There are plug points and a USB slot for charging phones and laptops and free Wi-Fi using a discount code the crew dish out that worked well (on the way out, my phone wouldn’t play ball on the way back).

Storage space is generous, with a little cupboard and water-bottle-sized tube to my left, a cubby hole by my right leg and a pull-down pocket in front of me underneath the (excellent) entertainment screen.

In addition, there’s a huge table to the right and a smaller one to the left. More than enough horizontal surface area for all your in-flight flotsam and jetsam – phone, tablet… Champagne glass.

Sadly, there were too many passengers filing through the plane as we boarded for the crew to deploy pre-flight bubbles (this is not a turning left business class), but once we were in the cruise, service got underway and I was, as during any premium cabin experience, unable to resist the fizz.

In this instance, it was a Duval-Leroy Champagne Brut Reserve (£35 retail) made from Pinot Noir, Meunier and Chardonnay grapes – and it’s a splendid taste-bud tickler. Refined, lightly citrusy and with a hint of roasted almonds on the palette.

The fizz stage was enhanced by accompanying pecorino, rosemary and seaweed ‘Drinks Biscuits’ by the Drinks Bakery, and onion jam. Delightful.

And so was everything else on the menu.

I loved the starter for lunch – flavoursome prawns, Marie Rose sauce and sun-dried tomato. The main was gratifying too – succulent roast Parmesan chicken breast with steamed spinach, carrots, baby potatoes and wild mushroom sauce.

And the raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake dessert was delectable.

Aer Lingus hadn’t finished feeding me just yet, though – a most inviting afternoon tea arrived about an hour before we landed. As we flew down America’s east coast I tucked into egg and rocket and roast beef sandwiches, plus a trio of delicious mini cakes – lemon and poppy, chocolate opera and Raspberry Bakewell.

The only non-fizz beverage I tried was a Cotes-du-Rhone Domaine Clavel, a perfectly serviceable red – soft and fruity.

You might be forgiven for thinking I ate and drank my way through the entire flight.

Not quite true.

I spent a few minutes examining my amenity kit by Voya, which contained lip balm, hand cream, a toothbrush, earplugs, a pen, flight socks, mints and an eye mask. Not the most luxurious of bags, but usefully re-useable.

The in-flight entertainment system, which fully works from gate to gate, occupied a bigger chunk of my time.

The afternoon tea of egg and rocket and roast beef sandwiches, plus a trio of delicious mini cakes – lemon and poppy, chocolate opera and Raspberry Bakewell

The afternoon tea of egg and rocket and roast beef sandwiches, plus a trio of delicious mini cakes – lemon and poppy, chocolate opera and Raspberry Bakewell

The Aer Lingus lounge by Gate 26 at JFK. Ted liked the raindrop-shaped lights and the grass-effect carpet

The Aer Lingus lounge by Gate 26 at JFK. Ted liked the raindrop-shaped lights and the grass-effect carpet

'There's a definite private jet vibe,' writes Ted, 'as long as you don't look behind the curtain into economy.' He snapped this picture just after he boarded at JFK for the flight home

‘There’s a definite private jet vibe,’ writes Ted, ‘as long as you don’t look behind the curtain into economy.’ He snapped this picture just after he boarded at JFK for the flight home

A salmon main on the flight back to Manchester, served with 'the freshest of fresh salads – plus strawberries'

A salmon main on the flight back to Manchester, served with ‘the freshest of fresh salads – plus strawberries’

Fresh fruit and a hot bacon roll with coffee 'proved a most satisfying breakfast'

The amenity kit, by Voya

LEFT: Fresh fruit and a hot bacon roll with coffee ‘proved a most satisfying breakfast’ RIGHT: The amenity kit, by Voya

The menu page for the mains and desserts

Ted enjoyed afternoon tea around an hour from New York

Pictured left are the options for mains and desserts. Ted enjoyed afternoon tea (right) around an hour from New York

Ted can vouch for the Cotes du Rhones from the red list

The white list offers libations from New Zealand and Spain

Ted can vouch for the Cotes du Rhones from the red list. The white list offers libations from New Zealand and Spain

It was a joy to use – not the biggest in its class but big enough, super-clear and with an intuitive, easily reached touch-screen operating system.

The freebie headphones were one of the blips on the niggle radar – their sound quality was a bit average and they didn’t muffle the cabin noise terribly efficiently. 

Still, they were good enough to facilitate getting completely lost in a movie. Job done.

(Airlines generally seem to skimp on headphones, with American Airlines being one notable exception – its business class passengers get amazing Bang & Olufsen cans.)

There was no danger – at any point – of the crew becoming a blip. 

The pair that crewed the flight were top-notch – friendly, professional, very smartly turned out and eagle-eyed with the Champagne refills.

THE RETURN JOURNEY – AND THE VERDICT

The long-range Airbus A321neo has a 15 per cent reduction in fuel burn compared to a regular A321 and 16 fully lie-flat business-class seats (stock image)

The long-range Airbus A321neo has a 15 per cent reduction in fuel burn compared to a regular A321 and 16 fully lie-flat business-class seats (stock image)

Before boarding the red-eye return leg on the Air Lingus A321neo I popped into the carrier’s lounge, by gate 26, which is pleasingly secretive – beyond an easy-to-miss frosted door.

And inside it’s relaxing and stylish (I liked the raindrop-shaped lights and grass-effect carpet), but there isn’t much on offer by way of food, drinks or views.

There’s just one counter from which one can plunder (tiny) sandwiches, crisps, coffee and various alcoholic drinks.

Wonderfully, on board the aircraft, it was the crew from the flight over and the sky-high standards were maintained.

And this time, mercifully, pre-flight Champagne was dispatched.

Foodwise I thoroughly enjoyed a salmon main with the freshest of fresh salads – plus strawberries. 

And fresh fruit and hot bacon roll with coffee proved a most satisfying breakfast.

The only downside to the journey was that I barely slept a wink. 

The seat is supportive and comes with a soft, luxurious blanket and a plump pillow, but the time difference had wreaked havoc with my body clock and there were too many bumps courtesy of the jetstream for me to drop off.

But it didn’t prevent me concluding that the Aer Lingus A321neo ‘throne seat’ is a dreamy experience, all the more so given the aircraft’s single-aisle dimensions.

Rating:

‘YOU DIDN’T ANSWER YOUR PHONE, SO I CANCELLED THE JOB’: THE PERILS OF BEGINNING YOUR JOURNEY WITH AN UBER (EVEN WHEN IT’S PRE-BOOKED WITH AN ‘EXECUTIVE’ DRIVER)

I fancied making my trip with Aer Lingus to New York fancy from start to finish, so I booked myself an ‘executive’ Uber to pick me up at 5am from my South London abode and take me to London Euston, for a first-class Avanti West Coast Pendolino ride to Manchester Piccadilly, on the 6.16am service.

I’d never booked an ‘executive’ Uber before, but I knew what to expect because I’d read about them on an Uber blog. And I was feeling smug.

The blog says: ‘To help deliver a consistent, quality service, all Exec drivers are expected to maintain a consistent driver rating of 4.9 or higher. Riders using Exec appreciate an elevated service that goes beyond a great car and impeccable manners, so we hope that as an Exec driver, you’ll deliver a service that exceeds rider expectations!’

I had extra peace of mind, because I’d pre-booked the Uber – a week in advance – which the company states would give me 15 minutes of wait time.

A driver had been assigned to the job, so all was well.

But all didn’t go well. At all.

Ted booked a so-called 'executive' Uber, but it left after a call to him from the driver at the pick-up time went unanswered

Ted booked a so-called ‘executive’ Uber, but it left after a call to him from the driver at the pick-up time went unanswered

My driver arrived at 4.45am, 15 minutes early. In a Mercedes-Benz. And he had a five-star rating.

A professional, clearly.

At 5am I was about ready to head out of the door and was doing final checks to ensure I had all my paperwork and so forth when I noticed my phone ringing. I didn’t get to it in time to answer. As it was an unrecognised mobile number I assumed it was the driver.

I didn’t call him back because I was seconds away from leaving my flat.

As I was turning the lights out, though, seconds later, I saw him moving off up the road.

Eh?

I rushed down the stairs with my packed bags and out into the middle of the road – this would be at 5.02 or 5.03am – and frantically waved at him. But he carried on going.

 I got to Euston in time for a selfie by the concourse Christmas tree before boarding the train thanks to the 484 bus to Camberwell, the 176 to Tottenham Court Road and the Northern Line. Thankfully, the drivers didn’t expect me to answer a call from them before letting me on

So then I tried to call the mobile number he used five times, at 5.04am and 5.05am, but I just got an automated text message from Uber telling me ‘sorry, we are not sure who you are trying to message, if you are trying to contact someone on an Uber trip, please ensure that you are sending this message from the phone number associated with your Uber account’.

Next? I ran up the road after him as he’d paused at the end of it.

When I caught up with him he lowered the window. I asked him where he was going.

‘You didn’t answer your phone, so I cancelled the job,’ he said.

I asked him what had happened to my wait time.

‘I waited ages,’ he said. ‘And look, it’s now 5.06am.’

I was supposed to get 15 minutes, not 30 seconds, and from the time I’d booked the job, not from the time he felt like turning up, and so at this point extreme exasperation overcame me.

I asked him if he was going to let me in the car as, ultimately, I had a plane to catch.

‘I’ve cancelled the job now,’ he said.

And with that I literally ran off to catch a night bus, screaming into the crisp chill air exactly what I thought of this driver…

I got to Euston in time for a selfie by the concourse Christmas tree before boarding the train thanks to the 484 bus to Camberwell, the 176 to Tottenham Court Road and the Northern Line. Thankfully, the drivers didn’t expect me to answer a call from them before letting me on.

While on the bus, incidentally, I got a message from another ‘executive’ driver telling me he’d been assigned the job. So apparently it hadn’t been cancelled after all. And as for the first driver’s five-star rating, there was nothing I could do to change that, as you can only rate drivers you’ve had a trip with.

Merry Christmas, Uber! 

An Uber spokesperson said: ‘We are very sorry for your experience. The service you describe is unacceptable and falls well below our usually high standards of customer service. We’ve credited your account with Uber credit in a gesture of good will.’ 

TfL, which licenses Uber, was approached for a comment, but it did not respond. 

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